


Everybody Talks

by softgay (lovelymartin)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cleaning, Embarrassment, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex, Stalking, Unwanted attention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:43:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelymartin/pseuds/softgay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It started with a whisper..."<br/>Levi discovers that almost everyone in the Survey Corps has a crush on him.  When matters start to get out of hand, he decides to ask Erwin for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Talks

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "Everybody Talks" by Neon Trees.

It started with the whispers.  They followed him everywhere, the hushed voices tagging along at the heels of Levi’s horse as he made his rounds during training, mingling with the food smells and chatter that filled the dining hall during meals, tracing his footsteps as he paced through the castle, the hallways, the grounds.  It took Levi a few days to figure out their origins, a few more to discover what the soldiers were actually saying.  He was bewildered, to say the least.  Since when had _that many_ people wanted his ass?  And it wasn’t just girls, either; Eren, Armin, and even Jean seemed to share the desire to bang their Lance Corporal.  

The hushed comments and stares were only the beginning, though.  Once they realized he noticed them (a grievous mistake on Levi’s part, as he’d yelled at a group of them who were talking in class and completely ignoring the complex strategy being explained on the chalkboard), everything escalated.  They would purposely mess up whatever they were doing when he passed by in the hopes of getting one of his “sexy” scowls, follow at his heels wherever he walked, whispering loudly until he turned around, and laugh at all of his comments, even the ones that weren’t meant to be funny.  One day, he woke up to find that seemingly every soldier had acquired a mop, and were scrubbing every inch of the hallway outside his bedroom.  Groaning inwardly, he picked his way through the sea of hunched-over soldiers and managed to ignore them completely and made it to the end of the hall without even making a sound.  

After that incident, he was hoping that the movement would lose some momentum, but he was met with no such luck.  The next day, he was making his usual rounds through the castle with his broom when a swarm of them approached him, nearly bowling him over in their desire to help him with his cleaning.  He swatted them aside and was just about to escape when he noticed a large cobweb hanging from the ceiling.  He cursed under his breath, looking around for a stepstool after trying in vain to reach it by jumping.  

“Want me to help?” came Eren’s eager voice from behind him, as the boy jogged forward and kneeled on the ground under the cobweb.  Levi scowled, knowing this was just another ridiculous ploy, but he _was_ awfully short, and there didn’t seem to be a suitable alternative, so he scrunched his eyebrows and stepped onto Eren's back.  He could hear giggling behind him but he gritted his teeth and swiped at the godforsaken cobweb with his broom.  

This continued for some weeks, and it was driving Levi insane.  Why did so many people have a crush on him, and, more importantly, why so suddenly?  He couldn’t think of anything in particular that could’ve caused this to happen.  Well, there _was_ the time he went the entire day without wearing a shirt, but that was because it was almost 120 degrees out, and surely his sweat-drenched chest wasn’t _that_ appealing?  He honestly didn’t know what even one person, let alone an entire army, could find attractive in him.  He was mildly good-looking, he supposed, but he was too short, and his hair was stringy and greasy most of the time, especially in this hot weather, and even if he did have defined ab muscles, so did everyone else!  Why the majority of the Survey Corps would pick _him_ of all people to do this to was completely beyond him.  The thought occurred to him that maybe this was some kind of practical joke, a way for the soldiers to get back at him for his harsh treatment and cold personality.  But their affection seemed genuine.

One month after he’d first noticed the whispers, he was changing into his uniform in his bedroom one morning when he saw a face peering through the open window.  Furious and flushed with humiliation, he slammed the window shut and drew the curtains, and finished dressing in the semi-dark.  A week after that, he woke up in the middle of the night to find his door wide open and three girls standing, silhouetted, in the doorway, apparently watching him sleep.  Three days after that, the soldiers pulled their grandest stunt yet.

All day, the soldiers worked with a strange energy that seemed to fill the air with an inexplicable tension.  Levi was off-put, but thought nothing of it.  That evening, after dinner, the grounds seemed oddly silent, and after doing a brief sweep of the castle, Levi decided to retire early.  Yawning, he plodded up to his room, sleepily half-noting the absence of people that usually filled the castle, and opened his door.  He was half-undressed when he felt the creeping sensation of being watched.  Nervously, he looked out the window, but was unable to see anyone in the darkness outside.  When he turned back around, there were at least twenty soldiers pouring out of the closet and filling his room, all in maid outfits.  Jean, who was standing at the front, gave an embarrassed shrug.  

Shock quickly turned to embarrassment, as Levi realized what they were doing.  Normally he’d be angry in a situation like this, but he was too caught off guard to do anything but blush a deep scarlet and slowly back out of the room and close the door behind him.  Heart pounding, he walked briskly down the hallway, hearing a muffled cry of “Eren’s fault!” emanating from his bedroom.  He broke into a run, and didn’t stop until he reached Erwin’s room at the other end of the hall.  He paused outside the door to catch his breath and collect his wits.  This was the final straw, he decided, and he was going to put an end to it right now.

He didn’t even bother to knock.  When he entered the room, Erwin was laying on his back on the bed, reading something, with his bare feet propped up on a pillow.  He looked up when Levi entered.

“What is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the expression on Levi’s face.

“Them,” was all Levi was able to hiss out.  Erwin looked confused at first, but then understanding dawned in his blue eyes.

“Your stalkers?”

Levi nodded, panic stricken.  “They--they’re in my bedroom--”

Erwin sighed and put the paper down.  He chuckled. “I’ve never seen you this terrified before, Levi. This is new.”

“They jumped out of my closet wearing maid outfits! Of _course_ I’m terrified!”

“I see.  You came here because…?”

Levi took a moment to collect his thoughts before he answered.  “I need your help. Getting rid of them.”

Erwin nodded slowly.  “Ah. And what exactly do you want me to do?”

“Anything!” Levi threw up his hands in frustration.  “Discipline them, hire me a bodyguard, pretend to be my boyfriend and kiss me in public, I don’t care!”

The corners of Erwin’s mouth twitched up in a small smile, and a strange light came into his eyes.  “Kiss you in public?  You’d actually be willing to--”

“Anything to get rid of them!” Levi begged.

“Al--alright. I’m fine with that, I guess. When do you want me to do it?”

“Tomorrow,” Levi implored, desperately.

Erwin chuckled softly.  “Kiss you in public…” he marveled.  “Okay, if that’s all you need, then…”

“Could you help me get them out of my room first?”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Levi lay in bed for a few minutes, staring at the light filtering in through the window. He was keen on his plan the night before, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore.  He _did_ need to get rid of his stalkers, but was kissing the Commander really the right way to go?  He liked Erwin, yes, but as a friend and colleague; he’d never imagined them ever being something more, even if it was only for show.  Besides, he was straight, or at least he thought he was; not once in his life had kissing a man ever occurred to him as something he might do.  But as of now, it was his best option, so he had to man up and get it over with.  Besides, it was only a kiss, nothing more. _Only a kiss..._

All day, he struggled to hide his nervousness, and he was thankful that for most of the day he and Erwin never crossed paths.  Just when he was resigned to the fact that it probably wouldn’t happen, Erwin trotted up on horseback to where Levi was pacing around a knot of soldiers.  Erwin dismounted and cleared his throat to get Levi’s attention.

“Do you have a moment?”

“Sure,” Levi said shakily, casting a brief glance over at the soldiers.  He gave a curt nod, their previously agreed-upon signal, and braced himself for what was going to happen.  Erwin didn’t, however, and instead began asking him about field tactics.  Confused and even more nervous, Levi answered Erwin’s questions, although his mind was in panic mode.  

He was cut off from his thoughts by a pair of strong hands cupping his chin and lips pressing hard against his own.  He could hear the faint gasps of the people nearby, and he remembered he had to pretend as if he liked this.  With a tiny sigh, he let his eyelids flutter closed, and tried to make it look like he was kissing back.  Erwin was almost a foot taller than him, and even with Erwin bending down Levi still had to stand on his tiptoes to properly reach his face.  Erwin’s lips were warm and wet and slightly chapped, and actually not that unpleasant.  Until he wouldn’t stop, and he wouldn’t let Levi break away either.

Instead, he intensified the kiss, moving his head and using his tongue to pry Levi’s lips open.  Levi could feel the hot stares of the soldiers on him, and he still tried to break off, but with no luck.  Erwin’s tongue flicked inside Levi’s mouth, probing the corners as their lips continued to crash together, and Levi decided that maybe it wasn’t _that_ bad.  His tongue was wet and soft, and the kiss was actually slightly pleasurable.  Erwin’s lips moved off of Levi’s mouth, and his tongue trailed along the curve of Levi’s jaw.  This was becoming better by the minute, as Erwin’s mouth continued to move, teeth nipping lightly at Levi’s skin.  When Erwin’s lips pressed against a sensitive spot on the underside of Levi’s jaw, Levi couldn’t help but feel a shudder of pleasure pass through his body and go straight to his cock.   _Damnit_.  Now he was _really_ interested.  

Erwin continued to work that same spot, allowing his teeth to scrape against the skin as his tongue traced tiny circles along the area, and Levi's dick was twitching with arousal.  Erwin moved one hand up to card his fingers through Levi’s hair, his mouth still working the skin on his jaw.  Levi was half-hard now, and praying that Erwin wouldn’t notice.  Much to his dismay, Erwin did, and, purring softly, pulled Levi closer to press his body and his growing erection against Erwin’s chest.  Levi could feel rather than see the embarrassment that clouded the onlookers’ reactions, and he heard a few of them leave.  Erwin didn’t seem to care though, and hummed as he moved down to Levi’s neck while slightly rocking his hips against Levi’s body.  Levi let out a sigh of pleasure at the friction that it gave to his now-aching cock, and wrapped his hands around Erwin’s back as his hips moved in sync with the taller man’s.  

Suddenly, Erwin broke off, and Levi felt a tinge of disappointment at the sudden absence of heat.  He looked around--more people had left, and only a few remained.  He cleared his throat.  “Hey, uh..Erwin...thanks for that, but I really have to--”

Erwin glared at him, and there was something predatory in those blue eyes.  If he wasn’t sure whether Erwin was genuinely interested in him before, it was certainly clear now.  He stared at Levi for a few seconds, and then abruptly dropped into a squat.   _Oh shit_. Levi knew where this was going.  The kiss had been his limit; he didn’t want to do _this_ in public, not with people watching.

“Erwin, don’t--”

His faced flushed magenta as Erwin slipped Levi's pants and underpants down to his ankles, exposing his hard-on to everyone in the vicinity.  “Erwin, not here, please not h--”

He was cut off by a surge of heat that made his head spin as Erwin pressed his lips to the head of Levi’s cock.  He wanted to protest, but before he got the chance Erwin swallowed his cock almost completely down.  Levi threw his head back, unable to suppress the moan that escaped his lips as Erwin worked his mouth up and down the shaft, coating his lips with saliva and pre-come already leaking out of the tip.  Erwin was clearly not very experienced with giving blowjobs, and it was obvious that he didn’t exactly know what to do with his tongue and hands, but Levi couldn’t complain, couldn’t even speak apart from moaning because of the sensations racing through him.  Erwin’s head bobbed up and down as he moved up and down the shaft, his hands hanging awkwardly at his sides.  Levi realized that he had tangled his hands in Erwin’s blonde hair and was pushing his head down without even realizing it; he loosened his grip slightly and rocked his hips back and forth, fucking Erwin’s mouth.  The pressure was mounting, and Levi knew he was coming close to a climax.  Erwin seemed to finally figure out what to do with his hands, and cupped Levi’s balls; swallowing Levi’s cock down one last time caused everything in Levi's body to tighten and then release all at once in shuddering orgasm.  Erwin somehow managed to swallow everything, although a trail of semen spilled out of his mouth and dripped down his chin, and when the aftershocks had quieted and Levi's arousal had subsided he pulled away, wiping his mouth and putting Levi's pants back on.

Thoroughly embarrassed by the whole course of events, Levi looked around. Only a few people still remained: Eren, Hange, Petra, Jean, and Sasha, although the latter was eating something and didn't seem to be paying much attention. Levi began to walk away and groaned, knowing he'd never be able to look any of these people in the eye again. But hey, maybe they'd stop stalking him now. They'd better, because he was no longer going to be single.


End file.
